We’ve just got in from the local sports day (part of the Jubilee celebrations). There were also some floats with people dressed up as the Queen drinking a lot of beer, always thought she was more of a G&T lady.
But back to the sports day.
My daughter is quite competitive. So is my cousin’s daughter who was also there.
The two of them wound each other up before the race. They needed to win. They assumed they were going to win, they usually do. And imagine the excitement when it was announced there were £2 prize winnings (yes they still let winners win in Cumbria!).
My daughter won 2 races. My cousin’s daughter won 1. They both lost 2. And were deeply sad, there were even a few tears.
My cousin and I discussed how we dread the races in case they lose, in case the tears start.
But what’s wrong with being sad about losing? Isn’t the pain of losing the same pain that will mean you try harder next time?
Or is it about unfairness? About realising that life isn’t fair, and sometimes you win, but usually you lose.
About finding your thing where you do win? Trying new stuff, why not, but being ok if it doesn’t work out?
So, as I sat on the local school field, feeling the sun burning my head traditional Jubilee red, I wondered if it was Ok to let children be sad when they lose. That keeping them away from that feeling isn’t helping them to deal with tears of the future?
Anyways, cheers to Jubilee tears, tantrums and tiaras - where ever you find yourself pondering.
eleanor
Interesting post. I have young children so I'm always wrestling with this kind of scenario.. I read that in Scandinavian countries the children's tv shows and movies don't all have happy endings unlike your average Disney or Hollywood movie. Instead they tend to have neutral or sad endings. Apparently this makes children emotionally more resillient than those from countries where they're sheltered from sadness and everyone lives happily ever after.