I needed a big reframe today - you know one of those days when it’s tempting to believe the day is over before it’s begun.
However - the power of a good reframe!
We can train our brain to reframe things so that we react to them in a different way than perhaps we would on auto react.
Reframing can be as simple as seeing something that has gone wrong as, in fact, a gift, like being grateful that you missed the bus because you now have 5 more minutes to sit and think, or happy that you didn’t get the job as it gives you a chance to rethink about what you really want.
Reframing can be the moment to take a breath and breathe out slowly and control your response, so that you respond the way you want to, not what your auto response did. Like standing on Lego - that moment - of screaming getting cross it’s on the floor, who put it there, disaster - or just saying ouch and moving it and having the rest of a lovely day.
It’s about knowing that you are influencing your day.
You know when that car cuts you up at the traffic lights - oh the injustice, the nerve, beep your horn, swear, get cross - all in your space, you’ve polluted your space that has impacted only you, maybe for the rest of the day. You did that, not the car that cut you up. And the reframe, instead of a moment of anger maybe an opportunity to be kind and smile at the driver, they might just be late for something important!
Reframing has deeper routes.
Phycologists talk about cognitive distortions, tendencies or patterns that can route our thinking, and need deeper work and support to reframe. A good start is to catch when you are having cognitive distortions, or unhelpful thought patterns. For example:
Stewing – you have the same thought on repeat, again and again. And it isn’t moving on, it’s not helping you at all.
All or Nothing – you only see the situation in black and white, absolute terms, you see no grey. I can only be this, or nothing. (Grey can hold many opportunities!)
Blaming – you find yourself attaching a problem to a single cause (or person), it’s very clear it was that. And it might have been the spark, but how you move forwards is down to you.
Catastrophising – you always imagine the worst possible scenario, the drama, the noise! Before it’s even (not) happened!
Mental filters – you only focus on the negative, never giving space for positives. It’s just a no, it’s horrible and that is all.
Shouldism – you always feel like you’ve failed to live up to expectations of what should’ve happened - oh yes I know this one! And maybe we dont, but maybe it doesn’t matter.
When we reframe we flip these over - and we find a fresh perspective.
So today I flipped over, and found a new idea waiting there - a new possibility. But I’m just going to let it sit there before I do anything with it!
A reframe day, but not a leap in to action day!
eleanor
What can you Reframe today?