Right.
So.
The post yesterday about Ghosting.
I posted it on LinkedIn, a milder version with a link to the full note.
Of course people don’t read it. So an interesting reaction happened.
I got A Lot of messages in my inbox saying ‘saw your post on ghosting, maybe you could reply to this’.
Just all kinds of messages. Mostly wanting to jump on a call with me, not sure why! Or selling me something I don’t want.
And for a moment I froze - am I a big time Ghoster too!?!
But then corrected myself. Because despite being the biggest ‘ people pleaser’ and the biggest ‘say yes to it all’, it’s not healthy to feel obliged to jump to other people’s requests all the time.
Especially free advice, chats that take up work time, picking brains.
Especially when you are self-employed (which is what the post was about).
So.
I am free to ignore what I choose.
Everyone is free to ignore whatever they want.
Everyone is free to ghost anyone.
The point of the post was about when a relationship, connection, conversation just disappears - without explanation. It just leaves you hanging.
Ghosting is that feeling ‘I thought we had something, and then it went.’
It’s different to replying to every message and email within 2 hours. No I’m not going to do that. Unless you are paying me, then of course I’m on to it!
And with that now cleared up I can now settle again with lots of unread messages and emails yet to response to!
eleanor
There’s that (my) natural British (?) / polite / stupid (?!) feeling that you’re obliged to reply if someone writes to you … That you ‘owe’ them something … It’s taken me far too many years to get over it / I never fully will, but I’m increasingly great at ignoring / blocking the ever-larger wave of unsolicited cold emails / LinkedIn messages & connection requests / phone calls … it’s now simply a matter of survival!! Haha … especially the chatty ‘new best friend that I’ve never met’ who assumes I have nothing better to do tomorrow afternoon but chat with them over virtual coffee about what my top 5 priorities for the year / unmet needs are …
It used to be a couple of months in a new job (new company, email address & phone number) before they started … I think they started before I did this time!! … & even to my personal mobile number - I’ve had it >20 years, & used it for work also until c. 6 yrs ago, so it is ‘out there’, but it was a surprise nevertheless …
Are you the big time ghoster Johhny Marr just wrote a song about? ;)