Professional ghosting. A thing you become acutely aware of when you go self-employed.
When in permanent roles, or auto-paid roles, you don’t think about it. You just think about the work.
You work, and in return get paid. It’s not often you think about pay = work = pay = work. Maybe at bonus time. Or if you are on commission. Or when you start saving for something. Or when you lose your job. Then you think about it. But more often, you sort of know your money position.
In self employed world work = pay is the struggle you are constantly wrestling with. The sensitivity of work equally pay equally enabling you to do things.
So knowing where you stand with work really matters.
So when you are ghosted, it really stings.
Ghosting. I thought it was a personal life thing, maybe when you are younger. A friend just stops speaking to you overnight for reasons you may never know.
But. Professional ghosting. A whole real life thing, that really matters.
When I was permanently employed I now know things that I did not know then at all.
I did not know that person pitching to me on the other side of the meeting room table really needed to know my Yes or No - their mortgage depended on it.
I did not know that my ‘not got round to it yet’ decision on a programme going ahead meant somebody’s family didn’t get to go on holiday that summer.
I did not know that me just forgetting to let a small business know our plans had changed meant they’d said no to other business, and were now left with a massive gap in their balance sheet.
I just didn’t know. Because I didn’t have to think about it. I had my ‘to do list’ to think about you know!
I didn’t know how important my work was to them. I just assumed they’d have loads of other clients. I was just another one.
But now I know.
I know so starkly.
Last year we had a strong pipeline of corporate change programmes lined up, I felt confident. even excited about the year ahead. Some programmes were big redundancy programmes, but we were ready to help people through it. Some contracts were change programmes; I’d created a brilliant 5 week experience that would help people through it, could even change their lives. Strong propositions, strong Yes signals from the businesses.
We only needed one to go ahead to be ok for a few months.
It did not cross my mind none would happen.
Over 3 months calls stopped being returned, emails remained unanswered. Out of 7 clients, 1 let me know they had changed their plans.
The rest ghosted me.
I never heard from them again.
The impact was significant, and hurt! But that was over 18 months ago. A lot of lessons learnt since then.
The biggest lesson is to know being ghosted is part of doing business. It is personal, but they don’t think so, so in a way it’s not.
And we all do it. I do it.
I just don’t get round to keeping someone updated that I don’t want to go ahead, plans have changed, not the right time.
But it matters.
It really matters.
Even if it’s a No. That helps someone to reroute, replan, divert attention. It helps them to know if something is wrong with what they are offering, or it was just not right for you.
That update could keep a business going (even if its a No) because at least they know.
And we can all do it.
We can make a big difference, with little effort.
It’s hard running a small business. Your Yes, your Update could make a significant difference.
Don’t Ghost, especially don’t be a Professional Ghoster.
eleanor
Thanks for posting. This is terrific. It really resonates with me. I find personal and professional ghosting hard to stomach. It's the longing and the hope that kills me! Whilst a 'no' is never easy to take on the chin I would rather just know so at least I can now plan a path around it and get on with everything else. I've recently been on the end of some professional ghosting but I've reconciled the lack of empathy by telling myself that it isn't personal but just a bit inconsiderate 🙂