‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ Theodore Roosevelt
Comparison is indeed a tricky thought and emotion to navigate. It is only natural to compare.
It is hard to watch someone else living your dream, achieving your goals.
You can see that in sports stars when they don’t achieve the position they expected. You can feel the disappointed. The comparison is there for all to see.
And in the World of work. It is hard to see the person get the job you wanted, win the pitch you worked for, get the deal you dreamed of.
So the online gurus, the self help books (mine included) would say ‘ Don’t compare, it’s a waste of energy’. They pump out Theodore’s quote to tell us to stop the feeling.
And (sort of) they are right. But I also think it’s a completely human reaction that shouldn't be made to disappear, shouldn’t be just positively thought away. And you shouldn’t feel shame in feeling that emotion.
I see very successful people writing about how you shouldn’t compare yourself to them. Why shouldn’t someone feel disappointed that they aren’t achieving their goals?
The problem is more about how long you let this get in your way. How long you let it fester and burn away good energy.
You can feel the comparison burn. You can feel a little envious.
When you really want something, and someone else has it, it’s a natural response.
But you can also be happy for them at the same time. You can also be inspired to keep going. You can also reset where you are, and move out of out of their shadow, and into your own spotlight.
There is nothing wrong with feeling low in the shadow of someone else’s success. But at the same time you can reset what you want to do next, and feel optimistic.
I often have moments when I see people achieving goals I set for myself, and didn’t achieve. I have moments when I know I wasn’t good enough. And I’m ok with that. I don’t need anyone to say ‘ but you are good enough’ - it’s ok, sometimes we aren’t! We aren’t all gold medal winners, it’s ok.
But also when I have those moments I ask myself what do I want to do with that feeling? Is it telling me something? Do I still want that goal? What do I want to do next?
I’m always very excited for others achieving goals. Especially when you know how hard they’ve worked for it. But sometimes to comparison burn simmers away as well.
And that is Ok.
No shame is comparison. You can feel it. But don’ let it steal all your joy! Let it fuel what you do next.
eleanor