I used to think boredom was a sign of not doing anything useful. Or even that something was wrong. If I was bored then I clearly have nothing better to do!
But recently a business coach I follow posted - ‘News just in - sometimes it’s going to get boring’.
We should not fear being bored, say psychologists James Danckert and John D Eastwood, the authors of Out of My Skull: The Psychology of Boredom.
Their research has revealed boredom to be very misunderstood.
“Boredom evolved to help us. It signals that we are unengaged, in need of an activity to satisfy us. I think that’s a good thing, in a lot of ways. How we respond to it is up to us. I think you can minimise it. But do you want to totally eliminate it? I don’t think you do.” James Danckert
In Out of My Skull, they define boredom as the uncomfortable feeling of “wanting to do something, but not wanting to do anything”.
It is not an emotion but an ongoing cognitive process where we wish to engage our minds, but nothing seems to satisfy. It is neither daydreaming, which we might enjoy or chilling out on the sofa.
It is this particular combination of lethargy and restlessness that distinguishes boredom from frustration (where a specific desire has been prevented) and apathy (where there is no desire at all).
To be bored is often thought of as a character flaw, reflecting laziness or lack of curiosity.
“Only boring people get bored, goes the aphorism. I’m highly motivated to prove it’s not true,” James Danckert
And that is the interesting part.
You can get bored doing things. You can get bored doing things that you want to do.
I feel like my (non) career detour last year was a part symptom of boredom. I just wasn’t feeling stimulated.
I was recently talking to Ben Williams, author of Commando Mindset. He shared that in the marines they have a saying, ‘It’s all about repetition, but it’s 90% suspended, 10% activated’. We talked about mastering your mastery again and again and again even when not called on so that you are ready when you are called on. So we agreed, a whole new level of boredom mastery!
And that’s what the business coach is referring to. Running a business can get boring. It is not every day that you are going to feel charged and exhilarated. Doing the boring stuff is part of the good stuff.
So what can we do if we feel like we are bored?
It is when we fail to act on the signal, or succumb to distractions, that the feeling of boredom causes us misery. “Boredom is a productive state, so long as you don’t let it go sour on you.” Anne Enright, author
So boredom might not be a bad thing. You know there are things to do – but you can’t bring yourself to do them. But maybe that’s ok. Instead of fighting it, we just let it be. Because boredom is very different to things going stale. You might just be bored with the routine, you are unstimulated, you are unmoved by it. But it doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong or that that thing isn’t working.
So maybe, boredom is actually helping us to move forwards. But when we get that feeling it is a sign to rethink, to recharge, to move forwards differently.
The thing you are doing might not be giving you what you want from it anymore, so time to let go. But it also might be thing you are dong might be perfectly fine, it’s just you have changed, so maybe delegation is needed. Or it might just be personality.
I can be guilty of getting bored with things way too quickly. My friend once said I reminded him of Toad of Toad Hall in Wind in the Willows. On to the next thing before giving it any time to connect, settle, even achieve it’s goals.
But now instead of fighting boredom I’m going to spend more time asking what it is telling me before responding to it. There maybe far more to learn from boredom than we think.
I’d be curious to know what makes you bored? Is that a good thing?
eleanor